The Relational Challenges of a Godly Man

This is an outline that I will be working with for the next two weeks at the Eastside Men's Growth breakfasts. It has more information than I will cover during the 25 minute "devotional". Hopefully there are some tools the Lord will use to encourage you to grow as you relate to your "significant other."

A Man and His (God's) Woman

Intro: Physical/Vocational vs. relational challenges.

1. Discovering our Purpose and Calling

Why are you married?
**Convenience, economics, sex, self-fulfillment, happiness, personal needs met?
Genesis 1:27
**What does this have to do with purpose? (To reflect the image of God fully)

**Ephesians 5:21-33 value, respect, submission to Christ and others
Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you, not to harm, but plans for a hope and a future." -Apply this to your marriage, your family

Our purpose: to glorify God and to grow in Christ-likeness.
The purpose of marriage is to help you grow in Christ-likeness

Ephesians 5:25-31

Nowhere does the Bible say it will be easy, in fact, if Christ's love for the Church is the model, it will be difficult sometimes.

Therefore:
We are a family that serves the Lord
We are a ministering family
o My wife and I have a unique purpose, but our individual purpose is enhanced together. (They are not at odds with each other)
o We also have a one-flesh purpose. There are unique things that God will cause us to do together. Our overall abilities are multiplied. One flesh: When relationship between people and God broken, brokenness entered human relationship.

Whole Person Marriage
-A total sharing of the total person for the total life
-More than just an arrangement
-Made for growth into Christ-likeness
-Not just convenience - convenience belittles God's intention
-The goal is a one flesh relationship - this was broken at the fall

Social/Cultural, Physical/Sexual, Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual.

A whole marriage is not a one-time decision. Intimacy is an action. It requires communication. Communication takes patience, hard work, and time.
Knowing is a growing experience. It is a process, when it involves broken people.
It doesn't mean you have to do everything together; it's about involving the other in your life.
This is the ideal and speaks of the value of companionship.
A total sharing of the total person for the total life = Intimacy
This definition speaks of what God's intent was back when he created Adam & Eve.


2. Fostering a relationship of honesty.
Honesty requires safety.
The conviction that authenticity and honesty must exist within the marriage relationship

Ephesians 4:15 "Speaking the truth in love"

3. Learning to Communicate
Communication skills can be learned (additional hand-out)

4. Learning to disagree without fighting
Conflict resolution: Attacking the problem not each other. Approaching problems as a team.

5. Being a spiritual man
The conviction that worship and prayer must be an integral part of the marriage and family

As a family our spirituality is tested and experienced

Home as a Redemptive Center for Worship

I can't give you a formula, but I know there are some basic elements to this.
I also know that it probably should be a way of living, more so than a daily event.

What does worship look like in the home?
-Create an environment of worship
-Spontaneous prayer
-Read devotionals
-Relationships change
-Object lessons in life circumstances
-Not rigid on spouse or children
-Music and prayer base = atmosphere of peace, joy, love

When you don't know what else to do (depressed, sick, decisions, loss, relationship conflict) WORSHIP

6. Modeling God's Love (Caring) 1 Cor 13.
The conviction that we seek the highest good and the success of one another

The greatest test of my love and the greatest expression of love will take place in the context of my family. Again, this is the greatest test of our love. Why is it that we reserve our worst behavior for those that we love the most?

Family/marriage is not a competitive environment. It cannot be a controlling environment, or one of domination.

How does this relate to discipline (Principle of love)? This will hurt me more than it hurts you. Being firm, but gentle.

The principle of love reminds me that my spouse is valuable (1 Peter 3:7)
I have a healthy respect for her.

Egalitarian. In many Christian couples (especially), if the husband is a strong Christian, the woman's role is relegated to childrearing and housekeeping.
One on one time, family time, is important. Set dates, set times. Intimacy takes time, as does communication. The one flesh relationship requires the investment of time.
Let's talk about a loving environment.

I want her to fulfill her__________(dreams).
I come not to be ________(served) but to be ________(serve).
I want her to experience joy and fulfillment
I want her to know that she is ________(loved) and _______(cared for).
I want us to ________(keep strong) when seasons_____(change).
Iwant her to learn to love_______(Jesus) more.

Ephesians 5:25-33: The other big challenge.

7. Challenge of righteous living
The conviction that we have different standards of behavior than the world

Basically, if I can just be a man of God, a lot falls into place.

8. Challenge of the promise keeper
The conviction that without this there is no stability, no foundation

I________, take you_________, to be my wedded wife/husband; and I promise, to be your loving and faithful wife/husband, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. Before God and these witnesses
The God we serve is a covenant God. He has made a covenant with us, and the power of promise is what every one of us relies on in our relationship with God. That same type of commitment must be extended to one another. It creates great safety and security.

When I do a wedding, I say that the decision you are making today, will answer a lot of questions that you will have in the future.
Covenant between humankind and God was broken, at the fall. A covenant is what holds things together. A redeemed couple, has a covenant that is intact.

People have said to me, "Pastor, we don't love one another anymore." What does this mean? Feelings vs. commitment.
Relationships are founded on Covenant. Adam and Eve=covenant. One flesh was based on a covenant.
2 types of couples: Those who go through hard times and make it, and those that don't. What sustains them? Covenant, usually. Unconditional love.

9. Challenge of Forgiveness
The conviction that forgiveness and grace are indispensable.

We need grace for ourselves (from God), His forgiveness, and the ability to extend that to our spouse. The goals that we set are high, but this sets us on a course of continual growth and discovery. Don't be condemned or overwhelmed, just keep growing one step at a time.

Passion Week - Complete Devotional Guide

The Triumphal Entry - Palm Sunday Scripture Reading: Mark 11:1-10, Luke 19:29-40, John 12:12-19
This is the first of a daily blog that I will be doing during the week commemorating the final week of Christ's earthly ministry. I invite you to join me in these readings and meditations as we make room for Christ to work in our hearts this Easter. Take time to read the Scriptures and let the Word be the primary source of encouragement. Provision Praise and protection. This story begins with the mysterious account of Jesus sending the disciples into town to get the colt that He was to ride into Jerusalem. It's an interesting story that implies His very specific knowledge and plan for obtaining His chosen means for transportation on this day. It reminds me that He has answers not just for spiritual needs, but for physical needs as well. Often I see my needs as self-serving and irrelevant to Him. This story reminds me that He has practical answers to practical needs.As Jesus rides into Jerusalem, He is met with praises - Only He knows that these praises seal His fate. But His fate is all part of the plan. As He receives this praise He knows that all of creation has been waiting for the unfolding of these events and He is able to publicly receive the acknowledgement of His true identity. The word "Hosanna" literally means "Help us", or "Save us". This is a fitting expression as we encounter God. He alone is able. He alone knows the greatness, diversity and uniqueness of our individual needs. I need His help in order to be a good husband and parent. I need His help on my job and with the decisions that I make. I need His help when it comes to managing my life, my time and my relationships. May "Hosanna" be a heart-cry that echoes continually in my spirit.Let's begin this week by poising our hearts towards God with a welcoming disposition that recognizes who He is and makes room for Him to remain on the throne of our hearts.

Passion Week - Monday, Day Two
The Temple Cleansing: Mark 11:12-19, Matthew 21:14-17
What was up with Jesus cursing the fruitless fig tree? Then he turns the tables over in the temple! Was He having a bad day? What was it that created this strong response? Righteous indignation - over a tree that wasn't bearing fruit in season and over a temple where worship had given way to materialistic pursuit. Then after turning over the tables in the middle of this "den of robbers", Jesus heals the blind and the lame. I take these stories as warnings. I am meant to bear fruit. Right now is the season where our lives are meant to show the evidence of fruit. Now is the time when fruitfulness comes not by our own effort or virtue, but by merely making sure we are staying connected to the vine ("I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." - John 15:5). The only way to be fruitless is to refuse to abide in Him. His response to the fig tree is a warning to us to not refuse the gracious opportunity that is ours. Secondly, we are reminded that the work of the temple has to do with the blind and the lame. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit. The temple is a place where Jesus reached out to those who were in need. Our lives are to be the same. It is a focus on others more than the pursuit of our own material advancement. These stories require our humble consideration and soul-searching application.

Passion Week - Tuesday, Day Three
Jesus teaches in the temple Read Mark 11:20 - 13:37, 14:1-11, John 12:2-8
Let this extensive reading be a point of reflectionEven as He faces the cross during the last week of His life, Jesus continues to teach and to encourage - giving us some of the most memorable and important teachings of His ministry. He shows amazing strength and focus in the face of tremendous stress in a threatening and volatile situation. Some of His key words that were spoken on this day include, "Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours...Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength...Love your neighbor as yourself."He gave warnings about the perilous behavior of the Pharisees and he praised the likes of the widow and the woman who anointed Him with expensive perfume. His words and actions remind me that a pure heart is critical -- one that loves God and loves people. A heart that is humble and seeks God. A heart enraptured by God while caring for people and not being seduced by religious behaviors. May we enter this Easter with hearts that have been purified by Him.

Passion Week - Wednesday, Day Four
Jesus Rests
All four Gospels are silent regarding the activities of Jesus on this day. This is no surprise when you look at all that took place on Tuesday, and what was about to take place. What did Jesus do on this day? Was it for mental preparation? Physical rest? Prayer? Time with his friends? All the above? We don't know. But we do know this - nothing "notable" took place on this day. I personally believe this was a critical day during Passion Week. It reminds me of how important a "day off" is. Would you be willing to take a day off during the most important week of your life? Would you do this during a week where your actions would determine the future of others? May this day be a reminder to us to rest in Him. Trust in Him. Stop. Focus. Prepare. Contemplate. Be filled with His strength.

Passion Week - Thursday, Day Five
The Last Supper and the Arrest of Jesus
Read Mark 14:12-52, John 14 - 17
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you."
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends."
"I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you."
What a friend we have in Jesus! He is not just our Lord and Master. He desires to bring our relationship with Him to the point where it is THE model and basis for all other friendships. An inner friendship with Christ is to be a daily reality from which we draw His strength. In this reading Jesus models friendship in the face of betrayal, disappointment, extreme stress and volatile emotions. He is the only one who is a rock in this paramount moment in His life. He brings His burden honestly and openly to the Father. He is ushering in peace when He of all people would have the right to be pre-occupied with what is lurking before Him. Yes, He is continues to teach, to serve and to pray, but His heart-felt care makes it clear that a pure love is driving Him towards the cross. Today may you and I find His abiding presence as a reservoir of strength in the face of challenges. May friendship with Him bring peace when pressured by stress of chaos. And may love conquer all when my tendency is to become preoccupied with myself.

Passion Week - Good Friday
IT IS FINISHED
Read Mark 15, John 19
In this narrative the guilty is set free while the innocent is flogged, brutalized, and crucified. It is a fitting picture of what Jesus has made possible for every one of us. The cross was a place of tremendous suffering, but also it was the place of triumph. It is finished - the price has been paid. It is finished - the promises are being fulfilled. It is finished - forgiveness and grace have been purchased for all who would receive. It is finished - justice is served as the price has been paid paving a path to the Holy God.

Passion Week - Saturday
Read Matthew 27:61-66
This was a day of mourning and extreme loss for those who had been close to Jesus. None of them would have known for sure what was coming. So on this day they surely agonized over what they had witnessed or heard. They questioned the past three years of their life. Some of them had given up so much. Now on the eve of the most triumphant moment in salvation history, they are consumed with grief. But their grief will only serve to deepen their joy. Their grief will only further their own resolution and conviction as followers. The horrors of yesterday will give way to a perspective that will take them beyond this world's struggles and place their eyes and their hope on God and eternity. So don't despise grief. Don't turn away from God because of pain. Don't give up if you're waiting for a miracle. He is present. He is powerful. He still is working His plan in the face of painful human decisions. Keep hoping.

Easter Sunday -- He Has Risen!
Read Matthew 28:1-20, Luke 24
John 11:25-26: "Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.""
The resurrection of Jesus was historical, monumental, unprecedented, and has changed history. It sealed our redemption and sealed the fate of death and the devil. This is Good News! Still, we often look at the resurrection for its historical implications and forget its daily benefits. Those who are in Christ can be living out resurrection life today. It began when we received Him. We walk in the reality of eternal life even NOW. The implications of the resurrection bring daily life, power and blessings into our lives. Walk in this reality today!